k3l-ViN

Kindly re-link my blog to www.fantasy-kelvin.blogspot.com
I quit using friendster blog for about a year since it’s function is not user-friendly. Thanks

-Cheers-

Wow, it’s been about half a year i did not blogged in, kinda busy i guess? Or busy with games XD Well let’s head straight to the point, it’s valentine~! Let’s give something to our families, err..let me rephrase that, let’s GIVE GIFTS to our loved ones, yea that sounds better..

Time passes by really fast, and it’s valentines day..basically guys will go hairwire on what to give to their *erHem*, kinda funny seeing them do so..they spent money on gifts just to impressed them. Well, it’s a fact and an undeniable 1..Sometimes i do pity the boys to fock up money to buy gifts, making their wallet go ‘bleeding’..haha..

Hmmm, this year’s valentine will be a lonely and bothersome one to me, i guess…Seeing other people giving gifts, ‘expand’ their relationship to a greater degree and enjoy life with their partner..Sometimes i really do admire them, and envy too..I guess it’s not the time for me to do so, and since i promised it, i just have to tolerate this torment.

Come to think of it, how does it feel to have a gf/bf? What will it be and what will be done so that that relationship actually lasts, for eternity? Although I have someone in mind that i hope to be with for the rest of my life, but for it to become a reality, i guess it’s completely a 0% *sigh* Sad memories remain vivid in my mind, bitter ones indeed. At times I try not to think about it but somehow or some factor causes it to be triggered. Kinda sad actually being left out all alone, as though dejected…

Some say happiness comes from the love you get from someone whom you really love, and that’s what it means by true happiness. This question come into my mind whenever I see a couple actually can maintain their relationship for a long time. What is the key to success(should be applicable in love situation, i guess?) Some boys who are really loyal to their girlfriends lavish them with everything they have, be it jewellery to all sorts of toys, just for the sake of the happiness of their loved ones. Romantic don’t you all think? What if i were in their shoes, what will i do? I guess experiencing love life is teenager’s most anticipating moment, and messing it up will be fatal…

Up til here then, laters~

        Hmmph….another useless friend. Just when I thought he is a good friend, vice versa instead. Normally I won’t crticise people in this way, but you’ve enraged my wrath! I’ll let you be the first to be crticise by me, amongst the public! After all those advices and assitance I gave you jus to win her heart, just to resuscitate your broken heart, just to get your strength back, and this is the way you treat me?! Damn it, we’re friends since primary and you suddenly change your attitude when you fall in love…Sorry to tell you this, but you’re HOPELESS!

        Bothersome young chap, finally I know your true colours..You don’t have any guts and faith without others helping you, what a loser. You say that you will not give up, well, go ahead my dear old friend, continue wasting your precious time. Trust me, all those efforts will be to no avail. Your fucking character already fails you, what more to say your efforts to win her heart? Lets see how your determination fails you, how you are distorted, or should I say rejected? Owh i’m waiting for that! No offence Michelle…

          When your girl onlines, straight away you see me as an invisible friend. Even in games, did you ever recalled what you’ve done and said? All the while wants to side with your girl, ignoring others. My friend, this is a democratic world, ‘just’ and ‘fairness’ is important. Everytime we chat online, you always praise her so much that it oftens exceeded your limit, I take it as a laughing stock at times. That I can tolerate, but 1 thing which is damn obvious is the way you chat, seems to treat friends around invisible, as I said above. You’re giving others a bad impression. People gives opinion you didn’t even response, but ignoring it and change the topic. Gosh, you know how annoying is that?

        Congratulations though, you’ve just earned a ticket to lose another friend..No use vying for something you absolutely can’t get, it’ll go to waste. So don’t come back crying like a cry baby. I will not attend to this anymore, butts of your business forever. Sheesh, because of love you’d rather be doing that? I felt sympathy for you, pitiful boy..If you continue doing that, I promise you, you’ll lose your friends in no time.. I’ll wait and see that expression on your face, that dejected and lonely soul of yours seeking for friends…Oh yes, i’ll be waiting for that. You’ll get what you deserve…

        For now I give you face to retain your respect and pride. If you really messes with me once more, repeating the same things as what I said just now, treating friends, not only me but others like an invisible toy, don’t blame me if I torment you. I have my way of doing so. And you probably won’t like it, and no use saying sorry to me at that very end. That’ll be the consequences for offending me. If you can’t adapt my principle in life, then so be it, I’ll be oblige to not befriend you, my dear old friend… I must admit myself to be evil when i’m provoked…My patience has it’s limits….

     Now, i see the true colours of you, my dear old friend. This test was conducted by myself, to see whether you’re a lost cost backstabber or not. Well, the result is, YOU ARE! Disappointing indeed!

     I can’t believe, after years of being friends, from primary until now, you treat me like this!? I’ve trusted you since the day we became friends, and now the result is simply disappointing! Can’t believe that you’re using me all these while. Like the adage ‘ Wolf in a sheep’s skin ‘, that’s profoundly true to describe you. I regretted for trusting you all these while. I wonder whether the words that you’ve said to me about our classmate really cross your mind or not. Now, your demeanour is similar then his. And you’re eating up your own words, didn’t you notice that? Using someone as a bait to lure people’s attention… Whether you take your action at first rather than using me. If you’re in my shoes, how would you feel? You tell me!

     Once i recalled what i’ve done and the way I treated you, really makes me wanna erase the past. Erase everything, and begin from the very start. All these while, I’ve been giving you shelter, leisure and my own trust. Clearing your ambivalent mind of yours towards you-know-who. Comforting you when you’re in dispair and in deep anguish. And this is what i get for my kindness!? You never supported me but mock me instead. Try being me for a day and you’ll understand how hard is it! And i know you’re the happy-go-lucky type, carefree, but did you ever consider people’s feelings towards your every single actions that you’ve made? You may think that i’m easy to be bullied, easy to be provoked for your entertainment purpose. But i’m sorry to disappoint you, I’ve been playing along with you, to make sure that i’m supporting you with all that i’ve got, to ensure that we could stay as friends. And due to your actions behind my back, that’s all gonna change now! I’m fed up with you!

     The heck, now i’ve seen your true personality. I guess this is a free ticket to say goodbye to our friendship. ‘ Fight fire with fire ‘  this is what i’ll adapt and do the same thing to you, Bastard! Friends….friends…..it’s nothing but words, in actual fact, did you adhere this and hold onto friendship?! I don’t give a damn about it! Be it forever or temporary, i’ll never trust you anymore, and that’s my final dicision! Not happy with me? Try observing yourself in a mirror. If without me, will you be able to stay on and venture forward? You don’t have the guts to do anything. Everything must be done by your friends, and not you. You rely almost everything to your friends, leaving them doing all the dirty work for you. You’re more like tormenting them, and not treating as friends. Did you ever thing about that?!

     For now, i’ll keep my mouth shut and bare with you until the very end. But don’t expect me to be as good as i was last time. Like i said, ‘Fight fire with fire’. You’ll get what you deserve, dear old friend….

      Well, it’s quite a long time since I blogged in. 6 months i guess!? Since it’s a holiday, i finally spared some time to update my blog. A bad year to start with, truely it is. This year should be my exam year, sitting for the ‘PMR’ and yet, i’m stuck with a whole pile of heavy work! Some even to be bore with for a whole year, yes, a year! How’d you expect me to score like this? Stress + more stress = anguish! *sigh*

     Terrible, really terrible. Now i’m left all alone with noone to guide me throughout this year. Even my teachers has high expectations of me. Regretted accepting that post. Really regretted! What will happen to me if i failed to govern and shine such a small club, and even worse, neglect my studies? Everything has to be done by myself, and not others. Every desicion i made wrongly will turn everything into a mess. What if my members never wan to cooperate with me? And what will happen to my studies at the end?To be honest, i’m not ready for this…

     And now another new challange pops into my life. That is something natural i guess. But it keeps on bothering me since then. At times i feel so much to tell her how much i like, love her, but i just can’t. For the sake of my studies and my promise, i can’t confess to her. All the while my perception is ‘ As long she stays happy, be able to keep in touch, then i’ll be satisfied ‘ but it’s just so hard to accomplish such thing. For now, i could only lavish her with my warmest care and sincerest support from a distant so that she is happy and protected. That’s the least i can do for now….

     Besides that, some of my trusted friends started to be distant from me. I can’t think of a reason why, but they just simply island themselves from me. Only some who really hold onto friendship maintain a close contact with me. I even notice some instead of befriending me, they sort of used me for some other purposes. I loathe this kind of people, but they are still my so called ‘friends’. I guess i could only bare with them, until the very end….

     For now, only some of my closest friends, be it far away or close to me, supports and understands me. I really appreciate their help all these while, especially when i’m down. Thank you to my two foster sisters, and my friends all around me that help me resuscitate my strength back, just for now i guess…..

談了又不聽

講了又不懂

不懂又不問

問了又不做

做了又做錯

错了又不認

認了又不改

改了又不服

不服又不談

    Oh great, today is really ‘a great’ day. I never know that this mess will eventually come up to quarreling (battle between the sexes) . Shit! both are my friends, so who should i help? God damnit! Who could this happen. To me everyone is to be blamed, none is completely innocent. Oh god, i wonder how long is this gonna take.

    Why all of a sudden the issue was taken out? I thought it was just a misunderstand between u guys. Or maybe itZ me who is to blame because i wasn’t able to stop it? HhmMmm….not sure at all.. I’ve been trying to be the neutral 1 but seeing them quarreling, i really can’t stand it….Now what should i do? All are my friends, i never wish them to be fighting…. How can this happen?

    This happen in the wrong place and at the wrong time, this kinda incident really makes me sad~ Oh merciful one, please give me a solution. I really can’t do anything to stop them, i wish they would get along well but it ended up the other way round. I wonder how long this grudge will end? C’mon, it is just a misunderstand between you two, so hope i all do get along. Please, i don’t wish to see the both of you fighting. I want the both of you to be the normal friend of mine, hang out together and help each other.

    Please god, please calm thier souls and erase all the grudges between them~! I call for your help oh merciful one…..

    What the hell……boredom strikes again~!

    Ish~ Today really is the most boring-est day i have ever gone trough, probably because of to many conflications? Yea, i think so…But nevertheless leisure is there to company me once again~ Unfortunately that doesn’t help me too….hehe ~.~

    Unlike the other days, i can pass through my day by just playing, hang out with friends, surf the web etc. but today that all can’t even help me….Weird isn’t it? Now the clock shows that it is 3 o’clock and im still here updating my blog, u can imagine how boring am i know. Haha….

    Something mysterious happened today, it was last night when i chatted with my lucky star. Haha, guess she knows who im refering to now, finally i told her that she is my lucky star after seeing with much determination seek for the answer on who is my lucky star. Haha…Hope u don’t mind yea. I never thought of mentioning it to anyone but after seeing seeking the answer with all her hard effort, i finally gave her the answer. So you hardworking-ness really pays the price eh? Her name is ******** **** *** *** hahaa….I’m not gonna let u all surpass this question that quickly, so sit back, relax and start guessing….hehe ^.^

    Eventhough i have a great time chatting with her and my friends, but that doesn’t last long at all. I wonder why everyone went in so early ar? So ended up playing games instead. But still that doesn’t remedy my boredom yet. Oh My God, I have tried many ways to remedy it but not succeed. So finally i ended up going online and update my blog, which is now( a quarter past three)….

    *Yawns* this bordom really is killing me, i can’t wait for activities to be assigned to me, at least i could kill time with it. Haha…Gosh~ it is getting late, i think i better stop writting. Since i’m out of idea too….-_-’ swt. I do hope things might change when i wake up, to be a new day for me to discover and venture to the unknown. *Yawns* what i can do now is to pray, pray to god….yea…….

    Hey, today is really a good day to start on, discovering the undiscovered, organising and planning activities for our benifits, cool isn’t it? But all will end up in tiredness at the end of the day, don’t u all agree? I agree with it though, but it never stops me from losing hope for as there is leisure to keep me company!

    I think i can’t live without the internet, haha. I enjoy chatting a lot and without chatting, i think i’d rather die then live(as if)…haha~! Last night, it really was a wonderful time for me to have. I chat with a lot of my primary school friends, luckily we do keep in touch. But can u believe it i still chat with somene from other states, named Elaine(satisfied now elaine?haha), originally from Sabah, but don’t know which city. Just get to know her through our Leo club. Quite a friendly gal, enjoyed chatting with her a lot. Quite funny sometimes, i think..haha…Really it was an enjoyable night, unforgetable and never to be unforgotten.

    Besides, i make new friends via chatting, kinda cool eh? Fun, interesting and the programmes installed are damn interactive, haha! Wow, leisure really gave me peace, reduces pressure, as usual and also provides me with cool activities. (P.M. It also prevents bordom..hehe ^.^)

                                            Do u all agree?

    Today, as always, online and start chatting. And once again my ‘ lucky star’ appeared from the sky..haha…..she brought me laughter, cheered me up eventhough she don’t know that she is doing so….we chatted for a short time because she has to offline for some purpose…

    But that doesn’t stop me from being the normal Kelvin that i was before, she gave me hope and insipiration. I Vow to be change the way i am, and so it was a success. I felt more refreshed like last time, recalling the long lost Kelvin that i was before. Haha….

    Today will be a different day, i will change it to be a day of my own, ignoring all crtisism, treat my friends fair and square, enjoying every single bit of time~! YEs, that it the way it should be….!! Wow,i was lucky i guess having the chance to meet my ‘lucky star’ whom change my unproper life, filled with sorrow and sadness to be a joyful and wonderful life, free from problems and most of all, gave me the courage to venture the undiscoverd, it must be God’s arrangement….yea…it is….